All of us influence other people to some degree or another as either positive, negative, or a combination of both and I believe that one of the best examples of this is our children as they are the most responsive to our authority, at least before they reach a strong sense of independence otherwise known as rebellion.
Nonetheless, parents can also be dysfunctional, as exploiting their kids according to their own best interests and wishes as damaging these little guys for life as through their words, actions, and attitudes. In my culture, one of the ways I see this is through the activity of sports and academics, as if the parents are competing through the child as an attempt to gain a sense of superiority in affirming themselves as winners through the extension of their children and then showing off by displaying their bragging rights on the appropriate bumper sticker. Of course, I think it is good to back our children but not manipulating them as a game piece in directing their efforts and abilities just to buttress the parents’ esteem, which if losing, resorts to becoming a poor sport as making excuses by blaming the child or society for failing them. This sort of child’s play gives our children the wrong idea as setting them up for failure with a value system that equates importance based on the performance of how society defines such success as a part of the ethos of our cultural milieu. This overreaching development creates a persona that can cause the child to lose their unique identity as living their parent’s dreams in convincing them that it’s all because they are a chip off the old block.
Also, another matter to consider is that parents may negatively affect their children’s ethics. I remember my mother’s infamous words as instructing me in righteousness as to heed her sacrilegious hypocritical oath to ‘do what I say and not what I do” in using the fallacy of power and authority to convince us to take such action seriously not realizing that her behavior was perhaps more convincing and impactful than her concise little creedal formula in supporting her situational ethics. Yet washing ones’ hands like this does not leave a person guiltless but rather it becomes self-convicting as “ doing what they know not to do”. Therefore telling you to do one thing while doing another is not a privilege of authority or age but rather a shoddy excuse for such an important role model.
The reason I used the example of children is because these little eyes and ears see and hear things which they shouldn’t be exposed to by those to whom they have been entrusted to as their guardians, in serving to protect, not endanger. It’s one thing to be unconcerned about your life, but when you project wrong values onto your children then it becomes a matter of neglect and abuse.
Anyway, to objectively ground one’s ethic a person must speak of God, not as we would define or not define God, or how society would do so, but God, as based on truth instead of pure subjectivism, which again, would be making them worship a god according to your own image.
Some in realizing this become passive participants in getting a little closer to the church door by dropping their kids off for vacation bible school, youth group, or the annual festival events of Easter and Christmas, thinking that this is win-win situation for God and themselves as providing both spiritual and natural care in the form of free babysitting. Then on the other side, there are those who could care less as not even bothering with such pretense in going all the way in converting them to be twice the son of hell.
Finally, I can only pray that you would at least give them a chance towards belief and not fear that your child’s testimony will usurp your authority in having to deal with these little feet who are swift to preach the good news by whom God has perfected such praise for His glory.
Though you may object to the concept of God in having power and control of your children’s lives, this becomes self-refuting, as you are trying to influence them otherwise, in pretending to play god through some self-acclaimed role of which you have no part.
In comparison it’s sickly for some to state that children are not a life while waiting to exit the door of the womb yet in some respects there is a similar correlation to these babies not having any real rights to life and life eternal even up to the time they leave and walk out of their childhood homes.
Thus my challenge to you in all of this is to seek after the truth of God, for both of your sakes, as recognizing the potential for a ripple effect in affecting future generations of people in leading them towards righteousness, rather than condemnation. I can say all of this because at one time when I was younger and wanted to serve God, my parents, were unable or unwilling to take the lead in playing a more supportive role as making a positive difference as encouraging me towards this goal. And who knows, perhaps you may come to believe a little latter in life and then regret losing that window of opportunity, which is what happened with my parents who came to trust Jesus when they were older, and graciously, God intervened and salvaged the family operation.
In closing, I hope that you will re-think your position towards influencing others eternally, namely your kids, who are watching your example as making note of your life. Therefore, would it be too much to ask to initially default towards giving God the benefit of the doubt instead of merely doubting His benefits. After all how will it benefit you in the end to avoid or repress the pursuit of truth in respect to God as hostilely opposed or indifferently entrenched towards not giving any ground towards your families inheritance? For if this God idea is true, as I believe it is, then wouldn’t this be the most important legacy in life as influencing your progeny towards Christ? #thinkaboutmakingadifference.
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